The Dysfunctional Theatre Company


Vampire Stewardesses From Hell
by Paul Wells
Under St. Mark's Theater
94 St. Mark's Place
January 23-24 and 30-31 and February 6-7,2001 at 8:00pm

February 15-17 & Feb 22-24, 2001 at 8:00 pm

They're hot. They're sexy. And they're dead.

Lillith, Magdalena, Katrina and Tatiana are flight attendants for the newly-formed Trump Airlines. Their high-flying mission: Find high-flying frat boys. Get frat boys drunk. Suck them dry when they most suspect it.

Meanwhile, suspicious about the blood-drained corpses piling up, police detective Roscoe Badcheck and his new sidekick Tommy Sidekick are hot on their tails, in more ways than one. Mix in mob kingpin Don Tortellini, vampire patriarch Count Bruno Von Wie, cynical coroner Jane Kadaver, rock star Blunt Razor, and ageless vampire hunter Vichy Vionescu, and you don't have matches match made in heaven. It's a virtual highway to hell.

VAMPIRE STEWARDESSES FROM HELL is the twelfth production of the Dysfunctional Theatre Company, who were responsible for such travesties as "Alien Sex Cult Clones Madonna!"; "Il Duce: The Rudy Giuliani Story"; "Control Freaks In Love"; "Mr. Rogers Y2K" and the NYC Fringe 2000 hit, "I Am Star Trek; The Life of Gene Roddenberry".

Directed by Rick Vorndran
Sound Design: Mark Penner
Lighting Design: Bill Rice
Costume and Prop Design: Claudia Cahill
Publicity: Geniusdome Ltd.
Dramaturgy: Steven Orlikowski

Lena Ajans: Passenger, Dr. Kadaver, Whore, Crackhead, Sappho
James Ferazzi: Roscoe Badcheck (ace detective of the NYPD)
Shelley Johnson: Katrina Van Wie
Michael Joseloff: Midnight, Preacher, Waiter, Nicky Tortellini
Laura Lanman: Lillith Van Wie
Julie Ann Pasquinelli: Magdalena Van Wie
Amy Pearl: Tatiana Bathory
Kurt Roinestad: Baron Van Wie, Cop, Frat Boy, Acolyte,Maitre D', Andrew Giuliani
Keith Thomson: Passenger, Cop, Psychic, Blunt Razor
Paul Wells: Passenger; Vichy Vionescu (Royal Ordained Hunter of the Dark Ones)
Todd Woodard: Passenger, Tommy Sidekick, Donald Trump
The cast also plays various non-speaking roles, dead people, and pieces of furniture as needed.